Doctor Jokes

Nurse: How old are you?
Patient: None of your business.
Nurse: But the doctor must know your age for his records.
Patient: Well, first, multiply twenty by two, then add ten. Got that?
Nurse: Yes. Fifty.
Patient: All right, now subtract fifty, and tell me, what do you get?
Nurse: Zero.
Patient: Right. And that's exactly the chance of me telling you my age.

Newly wed jokes

The leading couple of this joke consists of a husband and a wife. The wife has just taken a shower and comes out wrapped in a towel, still shy being newly wed.

"Well, I've seen you naked. You don't need that towel," says the husband.

"I just feel more comfortable this way," the wife responds.

"But I want to take a picture of you in a natural state," continues the husband.

The wife gets suspicious and asks what the husband would do with the photo. "I'll put in in my wallet and keep it close to my heart all the time," he responds, and gets his picture then heading for shower himself. He returns clean but also wrapped in a towel.

Funny jokes

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."