It's OK to admit it - we all want to be liked. Leil Lowndes, author of How To Be A People Magnet, shares her failsafe tips
Don't smile at people too soon
"If you beam too quickly, you risk looking insincere," warns Lowndes. "When you meet someone, pause and look for something you really like - their smile, their shoes, whatever - then let a warm, genuine smile spread across your face." This signals 'discerning approval' rather than a carpet-bomb approach and makes them feel they've earned your respect.
Let them 'showpony'
It's not enough to ask people about themselves. "The real trick is to give them a chance to showcase a story about themselves," says Lowndes. Instead of, "How was work today?" ask, "What was your worst job?" Swap, "Is that top vintage?" for, "I love your outfit. Who are your biggest style influences?" As Katy Perry says of her husband Russell Brand, "His eye for detail was impeccable. He made me realise he was listening and understanding me and wanting to jump into my world."
Self-depricate, slightly
"If someone says they love your new haircut and you reply, 'Ugh, I hate it,' it sounds like you're saying they have bad taste," says Lowndes. "Their compliment took guts, and the only response is to smile and thank them." But if you're telling a complimentary story about yourself, it's smart to slip in a joke, like: "So I got the job. Even though I later discovered I had marmite on my chin." Sandra Bullock knows the score: "I have big piano-playing hands. I feel like I should be picking potatoes."
Show your vulnerable side
Victoria Beckham's 'Everything's great thanks' exterior can make her seem chilly. We loved her so much more when she finally did the school run in jeans and flats. "Showing a glimpse of your vulnerability can be endearing, because people can relate," says Lowndes. But only show the chinks in your armour a little: "Popular people aren't neurotic and fishing for reassurance. They're easy to be around," she says. So, think a hint of vulnerability rather than a full-on Li-Lo meltdown. Now go forth and conquer!
Don't smile at people too soon
"If you beam too quickly, you risk looking insincere," warns Lowndes. "When you meet someone, pause and look for something you really like - their smile, their shoes, whatever - then let a warm, genuine smile spread across your face." This signals 'discerning approval' rather than a carpet-bomb approach and makes them feel they've earned your respect.
Let them 'showpony'
It's not enough to ask people about themselves. "The real trick is to give them a chance to showcase a story about themselves," says Lowndes. Instead of, "How was work today?" ask, "What was your worst job?" Swap, "Is that top vintage?" for, "I love your outfit. Who are your biggest style influences?" As Katy Perry says of her husband Russell Brand, "His eye for detail was impeccable. He made me realise he was listening and understanding me and wanting to jump into my world."Self-depricate, slightly
"If someone says they love your new haircut and you reply, 'Ugh, I hate it,' it sounds like you're saying they have bad taste," says Lowndes. "Their compliment took guts, and the only response is to smile and thank them." But if you're telling a complimentary story about yourself, it's smart to slip in a joke, like: "So I got the job. Even though I later discovered I had marmite on my chin." Sandra Bullock knows the score: "I have big piano-playing hands. I feel like I should be picking potatoes."
Show your vulnerable side
Victoria Beckham's 'Everything's great thanks' exterior can make her seem chilly. We loved her so much more when she finally did the school run in jeans and flats. "Showing a glimpse of your vulnerability can be endearing, because people can relate," says Lowndes. But only show the chinks in your armour a little: "Popular people aren't neurotic and fishing for reassurance. They're easy to be around," she says. So, think a hint of vulnerability rather than a full-on Li-Lo meltdown. Now go forth and conquer!
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